


I surrender... perhaps

by TheyDraggedMeInNowIAintLeaving



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Human AU, I have no idea where this is going, M/M, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other characters might be added - Freeform, Other relationships might be added, Teen pregnancy - hinted, There'll be a happy ending at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3675996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyDraggedMeInNowIAintLeaving/pseuds/TheyDraggedMeInNowIAintLeaving
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a stick... Doesn't it always</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Insert usual disclaimers here
> 
> Critisimn is most welcome.  
> Title (mostly) shamelessly stolen from a song I was listening to writing this, and it may change if I ever find something better - suggestions are more than welcome too :)

It’s not the first time he’s looking down at the little white stick in his hand, not the first time he’s feeling a panic attack curling its way into his consciousness and it’s not the first time he’s thinking _this can’t be happening_. But it **is** the first time in the past forty eight hours that he takes a deep, shaky breath and holds it in an effort to remain calm, because after all **everybody** knows these things aren’t all that accurate nor reliable, so this is probably some kind of false positive, and he’s freaking out over nothing. He lifts his head and catches his eyes in the bathroom mirror, he’s deadly pale and his eyes look bigger than is even physically possible.

“Sweetheart,” his mother’s voice drifts up to him from the kitchen and he just can’t deal with this right now, so he shoves the stick back into his pocket and hurries downstairs for dinner. He’s quiet but when his parents comments he simply claims to be tired and they leave him be. After helping with the dishes he says goodnight and retreats to his bedroom. The door’s hardly closed behind him before he sinks down on the floor, back against the door and he rests his forehead on his knees and tears start falling down his cheeks.

He has no idea how long he’s been sitting there, but there’s a crick in his neck and it’s dark outside, so at least a few hours he thinks. He reaches for his phone, hoping for a text or a missed call, though he knows there won’t be either. He stares at the blank square of an empty text message for a small eternity while trying to decide what to do. The darkness of his room and the silence of the phone offer him nothing and with a heavy sigh he stands and goes to sleep.

It takes him a week to come up with a plan and tell them all goodbye, without them actually knowing this, but then he’s leaving, not even looking back once. It’s another week before he stops driving and rents himself a motel room. Safely inside he crawls into bed and falls into an exhausted sleep.

He eventually settles in a city where he manages to get a job and a place to live. A colleague of his, Pamela, worms her way under his skin, flirts shamelessly with him and before he knows what has hit him he has a friend who knows the highlights of his life. When she goes out he always accompanies her, sometimes she leaves him alone for an hour or so but she always walks him home, and keeps people off of him. She introduces him to some of her other friends, and before long he can’t go anywhere without a bunch of protective people following in his footsteps. He tells them too, not as much as he told Pamela, but enough that they don’t comment when color returns to his cheeks and he starts smiling again. They go with him to his doctor’s appointments, and hold him when he’s scared or sad. Sometimes they try to convince him to reach out to those he left back home, but he can’t and they don’t push.

Pamela’s with him when they roll him to the delivery room and all his friends are in the waiting room, and when it’s all over they come to his room to marvel at the wonder that is his new born daughter. And if the fact that her hair is black as a raven’s wing and her eyes are blue as a sapphire breaks his heart all over again, then nobody has to know but him.

***

_**Four years later** _

Looking at the house he grew up in, Dean can feel the sweat pooling in his palms, and he is nervous as hell. It’s been years since he’s been home, and it’s just a few, short months since he reached out to his brother and parents. But Ellie’s been more persistent in asking about family since starting in kindergarten, and Pamela finally knocked some sense into his head, so he had finally called them. There had been questions, endless questions that he neither could nor would answer. In the end he simply told them he had a daughter, and if they would meet her he would happily bring her, he’d even leave her alone with them if they were uncomfortable with him being there. Mary had in no uncertain terms made it very clear what she thought of the latter, which is why he’s standing on the pavement on a warm day in early May, clutching his daughter’s hand, completely frozen by the prospect of moving. It’s the gentle pull from Ellie when she starts walking that finally has him moving, and within seconds they’re standing in front of that familiar door and Dean’s ringing the bell. The urge to just turn tail is strong, but he owes his kid and he has missed his parents and Sammy, and if he came back in the hope of maybe seeing somebody else then it’s his business and he’s not telling. They can hear the bell echoing through the house, and then the door opens and a small, blonde woman - who looks so much like Dean any outsider would know she’s his mother - is standing there, bright smile on her face while tears pour down her face.

“Mom,” he croaks out before enveloping her in his arms and crying into her hair, “god, I’ve missed you so much.” He can feel Ellie’s bewilderment, so he pulls out of his mother’s embrace and scoops his daughter up into his arms, and while tickling her slightly under her chin saying, “Mom, this is your granddaughter Ellie.”

Mary leads them to the back garden where there’s lemonade, coffee and pie and he once again feels tears prickling in his eyes. He follows as his mother takes Ellie’s hand and starts telling her little stories from when Dean and Sam were her age. The child seems delighted, both with the attention and the stories, so Dean simply revels in the feeling of being home. They talk for a while before they hear the bell once again and Dean stands to open the door. His brother, who was just a lanky teen when Dean left, stands both taller and broader than him now, and he has missed Sammy at least as much as he’s missed his mother, so without hesitation he wraps his little brother in a tight hug and again he can feel the tears running down his face. Sam claps his back and hugs back just as fiercely and he sounds a little hoarse when he finally says, “I missed you man, so glad you’re back.” And Dean had expected awkwardness or maybe a slightly cold shoulder so this warm, loving greeting has him confused but he decides to roll with it and question it later, in favor of laughing at the sight of his ginormous little brother squatting next to his 3 ft. tall daughter, and he feels a pang of regret that he has denied them all the chance of this, of being a family.

They spend the afternoon talking, telling stories of summers past, and there is joy and laughter until Ellie’s yawing wide and Dean stands to head back to their hotel room. Mary tells them to stay but Dean shakes his head, he needs space and to be alone with his daughter. He has enjoyed the day, and he wants more but right now he craves solitude and he won’t get that if he stays. Instead he offers to be back first thing in the morning and though his mother is clearly disappointed he won’t stay she smiles brightly at him at the promise. They say their goodbyes before he grabs Ellie’s hand, and they start walking towards the hotel. When they get there he puts Ellie to bed and then he calls Pamela and tell her all that has happened.

Mornings have never been his favorite time of the day, and this one seems especially horrible. Ellie’s crying because he forgot to pack her stuffed elephant - a gift from Ash that Ellie, for reasons unknown to everybody, loves more than life itself - and seeing as he hasn’t slept that well he can’t help but feel like an epic failure while he struggles to comfort the crying child. He ends up calling Pamela, on the verge of tears himself, to beg her to drive here with the stupid toy. She promises that she’ll be there as soon as humanly possible and he finally succeeds in calming his daughter down with the promise of bacon, pancakes and pie. She may not look a lot like him still but her eating habits clearly marks her as his. Showered and dressed he carries Ellie to the dining hall, where she instantly fills her plate with bacon before sitting at a table and start eating. He can feel people looking at him, probably judging him for letting his four-year-old eat nothing but bacon, and he has no excuse other than _I forgot her toy, this is to bribe her into not crying_. He has a feeling that wouldn’t make them judge him less, so he decides to just give them something to talk about and fills his own plate entirely with bacon - and a strawberry, because it’s there. Which, of course, Ellie ends up eating. It makes him feel better though.

He decides they need to walk a little, to give Ellie a chance to burn off some of the greasy breakfast before getting spoiled by his mother. There’s the added benefit that he’ll get an hour or so to think about every possible scenario to meeting his dad again - Mary promised to keep him home, so he could meet his grandchild, too - and prepare his own defense, he knows he’s going to need it. He takes Ellie to the park because there’s a small playground and she loves swings, she gets to run freely while he sits on a bench, lost inside his own head. It’s not until he hears a shrill “daddy” that his head snaps up and his eyes regains focus, and when his gaze lands on her he can’t help but smile. She’s swinging so high that she’s almost vertical when the swing is at its highest and she’s laughing like only little kids can, a fearless and joyous sound that has his heart clench painfully because like this she is so like her father and nothing at all like him. With the child’s surety that it has the captive audience of a loving parent Ellie stops kicking her legs in the effort of making the swing go higher and instead tries to sit heavier in an effort to stop the swing. When she deems the speed to be low enough - not nearly low enough to not give Dean a heart attack though - she jumps from the swing right into her dad’s arms, which takes him by surprise so he ends up flat on his butt while his daughter laughs, and it’s a sound that reminds him and something that he doesn’t hear that often and he hugs her tightly, while telling her to never do that again. He knows that as solemn as her promise is it will still be broken next time she sits on a swing, but he’s her dad, and he has to extract promises like this from time to time. Standing he reaches out his hand to her and tell her they should probably get going so she can meet her grandfather. The words have her jumping excitedly before she runs towards the entrance of the park. Clearly greasy bacon breakfasts gives his daughter a lot more energy than it gives him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short update to prove I haven't forgotten this. BUT I had stuff written, and then various electronic devices decided to screw me over - and not in any way that could be considered nice or pleasant

After a few seconds Dean starts walking, and soon he catches up with his daughter. He grabs her hand and she turns her head and gives him a big, bright, blinding smile, which he returns, and they start walking towards the Winchester-home. Ellie is telling him a story - he thinks it involves an evil pig that is made into bacon to the joy of children everywhere (or maybe just Ellie's) - and doesn't really pay attention to his surroundings. That is of course until he almost crashes into a grey haired msn. Dean turns but any apology he might've been thinking of dies in the instant he recognizes the man, he has hoped to never lay eyes on again.

The sneer on the on the man's face speaks of both recognition and contempt, something that neither surprises nor angers Dean, until he sees that look -paired with something darker he's incapable of naming- turned towards his daughter.

"So," the man says, "you chose"

But what the man intended to say drowns in the roar of a motorcycle that comes to a stop right next to them, and Dean can feel himself take a shaky breath, secure in the knowledge that with Pamela here, nothing bad will happen to him. Ellie, who knows the sound of the bike by heart, is already turning and raising her arms in an unspoken demand of being lifted and placed on the bike. Pam laughs and does as ordered, before winking at Dean and in her usual manner saying

"Missed me, Handsome?"

And though his stomach is clenched in a nervous knot he answers the same way he always does:

"Always, Mama Bear."

He faintly hears retreating footsteps, feeling grateful that the older man has decided to leave instead of continuing a conversation Dean has no intention whatsoever to ever have. Pam sends him a curious look that assures him she'll listen if he wants to talk, he doesn't but he's grateful for the offer, so he sends her a small smile before pointing in the direction of his parents' home. Pamela takes the hint and places a helmet on Ellie's head before following him home


End file.
